So, adoption saga number 1,487. Yes, the delay on referrals continues. I had a nice long chat with our case worker last week. She feels that we will have some delay, but not too much (in adoption lingo, "not too much" can translate to months). She said that instead of looking like a late winter referral, it might be more like late springish/early summerish .... that is, until adoption saga number 1,488.
There is a feeling in the air. I think all waiting families are feeling this. Ethiopian adoptions might look a little more positive today, but based on former experience from other countries, there is a feeling that ET adoptions might be going down the tubes. Like, none of those innocent, legitimate orphans will be eligible to be adopted... at all... in the near future. Vietnam, Taiwan, Nepal - they have closed their adoption doors. Ethiopia seems to be possibly falling down that same slippery slope.
The ET government
has tightened their adoption reigns for now, though, which is a good thing. It really, really is for the sake of those children being taken from their families and shipped overseas under false pretenses. But at the same time...
We. Are. Tired. Of. Waiting. Period.
I kind of feel like we are hanging on to this by the nails of our pinkies at the tip of a fine, silk thread.
This may sound trivial, but I think we are going to up our age limit to 18 months. I know, it does not sound like much of a jump from 12 month, but in terms of attachment, a lot can happen to that developmental part of the brain in that 6 months. Raising a child with RAD (reactive attachment disorder) brings on a unique set of challenges that we have frankly been concerned with our capability of handling. Mind you, the majority of kids 18 mo. and older are not affected by RAD and are truly delightful, but each month older does increase the risk. Challenges include tantrums, lack of bonding and boundaries, hard to change bad behaviors, etc. Many families only request up to 12 months for this reason.There is a feeling in the air. I think all waiting families are feeling this. Ethiopian adoptions might look a little more positive today, but based on former experience from other countries, there is a feeling that ET adoptions might be going down the tubes. Like, none of those innocent, legitimate orphans will be eligible to be adopted... at all... in the near future. Vietnam, Taiwan, Nepal - they have closed their adoption doors. Ethiopia seems to be possibly falling down that same slippery slope.
The ET government
has tightened their adoption reigns for now, though, which is a good thing. It really, really is for the sake of those children being taken from their families and shipped overseas under false pretenses. But at the same time...We. Are. Tired. Of. Waiting. Period.
I kind of feel like we are hanging on to this by the nails of our pinkies at the tip of a fine, silk thread.
I am going to let you all in on a little secret. I have always had a desire to adopt an older child. It can be scary as hell, but the thought of bringing a toddler home just sits well with me. A baby would be wonderful, don't get me wrong, but now that the Kid is older, I just sort of like the idea of having them closer in age, and I confess, less time dealing with diapers and sleepless nights.
The fears of RAD mostly stem from Husband. Those required homestudy courses shook him up a bit! Yes, there are more risks with older children, but I think we can ride whatever storm comes our way. We raised (continuation) one challenging child and I know we can muster up the energy again. We will have our family, so together it will be a process that I know we can work through.
Having these new referral delays has brought this discussion back on the table, as upping the age may bring our child home faster. I am pleased to say that I think Husband might be digging out his dug in heals, so don't be surprised if my next post titles. "0-18, Baby!"
1 comment:
*smile*
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