Tim's friend, Andy, mentioned yesterday that I should start a blog dedicated to my 4 yr old son and the things he says. He is right. The Kid has the most mind boggling stuff come out of his mouth and I know that I will regret not writing these things down one day. My son's imagination does not lack and I often ponder what is conspiring in his mind. I will not be surprised if he is a writer or an actor one day with his dramatics (and not the "Earth Scientist" that he is determined to be - so that he can go dig up mummies and bring them home to re-bury in our yard).
Here's his most recent noteables:
1) The Kid's music teacher started singing a song (or playing an instrument?). The class was standing around listening when all the sudden, the Kid just dropped to the floor and laid motionless. Looking so authentic, the music teacher ran across the room to his aide. When he got down to Kid's level, Kid opened his eyes, cracked a weak smile, then feebly said, "I just faint when I hear beautiful music".
2) "Mom, when we get "baby sister", will she get food from your boob?" (No - from a bottle). "Oh, sorry, I guess I must have drank it all up."
3) The Kid was looking at pictures of us dancing at our wedding. "Mom, I think that dad must have danced so hard with you at your wedding that he shook you up so bad that my egg cracked in your belly, and then I came out."
4) "Teachers, I won't be kissing any girls (in the class) until I get married." (as in.... have no worries, teachers, I won't be on the prowl just yet. The girls are safe for now.)
5) The Kid and I stopped for ice cream and he asked if we were on a date. I said yes, so he said, "Well then, you look like a princess, smell like a flower, and your are really not THAT fat."
6) Just today we were at the pet store buying two African dwarf frogs. The lady at the counter said, "Are those your frogs?" and Kid responded matter-of fact, "Yes, they are my little sweethearts."
7) After the Kid got a time-out (I think that mischief comes hand-in-hand with his active mind), he came downstairs, looked me directly in the eyes, and said, "Does it make you happy, mom, that you make me so sad? Does it not make you feel bad at all that you hurt my feelings SO much that I even cry when you put me on time-outs?"
8) We revealed his newly painted and decorated room. I had visions of him standing awe struck, hugging us, and crying out exclamations of complete and utter joy. Instead, it played out like this: When we opened the door, his jaw dropped, he stood in shock for about 30 seconds (So far, so good!), then declares, "I hate it! Paint it back! Paint it back! You have RUINED...MY...LIFE!" We then had to tackle him for the next hour as every little 33 pound fiber of his body was determined to get his tooth brush so that he could scrub off the new paint.
9) "Mom, instead of chores (because they are apparently "just too hard" for him to do), I want you to get lots of apples today so that I can eat them, make my teeth loose, pull them out, put them under my pillow, get the money from the Tooth Fairy, so I can go and buy all the cars from Josh. (He is our neighbor that has a good gig going with The Kid by selling him his junky Match Box cars for $1.00 a piece). "But mom, I do have a question. If I do accidentally swallow a tooth when eating an apple, won't it hurt my pipes (intestine) as it goes down my body and then how will YOU get it out of my poop for the Tooth Fairy?"
10) The teacher asked the class if they could name a word that starts with "B". Kid raises his hand and said, "Beer". The teacher then said, "Don't you mean bear" Kid said, "No, beer... the stuff that big people drink."
11) Because life is more nutty than usual, I have been a little absent minded.... to put it kindly. The other day after I had tried in vain to get the key in to open a car that was not ours - and would have probably stood there cursing at the broken lock for hours until the kid corrected me, he said, "Mom, I think when you went to the bathroom, you peed out your brain and then flushed it down the toilet."
11) Here is my favorite! The other day he stopped, leaned against the counter, sighed while putting his hand on his head and looking up to the sky, and said, "Mom, I just LOVE my life". :)
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
4
4 (four) Is a number, numeral, and glyph. It folows 3 and proceeds 5. It's the smallest composite number, proper divisors being 1 and 2. Four is also a highly composite number. Four is the second square number and second centered triangle number. The prime factorization is 2 x 2. It is a Motskin number. Four is soon to be the number of humans that reside under the Pettus household roof.
But most importantly.... we have now been on the waitlist for FOUR months!
We get it!
Just to get this out there.... we understand that there are risks in adopting a child from Ethiopia; blood work is not always accurate - including the extremely remote risk of a false negative HIV test, there could be attachment problem concerns (though not as likely with an infant), potential developmental delays from malnutrition, the possibility of post adoption depression for the parent, and the all encompassing idea of adopting someones else's gene pool - which might be jam packed with cognitive delays and/or mental illnesses.
We get it. We have thought about this. A lot. And then after we have thought about it a lot, we think about it some more. We've questioned our capabilities to handle what might come our way, the effect it might have on the Kid, and even the treatment options if... God forbid... our child is Hep C, HIV, Sickle Cell, TB positive, or have psychological trauma.
And how do we feel about this? Scared, anxious, and thrilled! We have concluded that we can take anything that comes our way because she will be family. She already is family. We have let this little stranger into our hearts long ago and feel that there is no going back. If she does come with many challenges, we will never have regrets and love her all the same.
Changing our adoption plan is also not an option at this point. Before we picked ET, we investigated other countries (including our own), and found that there were equal amount of risks across the board, just came about in different ways.
So, this is getting it out to the universe and especially to those who make sure we are always up-to-date on all of adoption horror stories - we hear you. We hear about them. It is scary as hell, but regardless, these stories are not changing our mind and we are going forward. Spending a lot of time dredging up the bad rather than talking about the good is not helpful.
Here is another way to look at it. I am sure most would be very happy and supportive if we were trying to conceive. If that were still possible, I am positive we would still be trying throughout this year, even though conceiving a child at my age comparatively comes with just as many risks (genetic, birth defects, preemie, etc).
We get it. We have thought about this. A lot. And then after we have thought about it a lot, we think about it some more. We've questioned our capabilities to handle what might come our way, the effect it might have on the Kid, and even the treatment options if... God forbid... our child is Hep C, HIV, Sickle Cell, TB positive, or have psychological trauma.
And how do we feel about this? Scared, anxious, and thrilled! We have concluded that we can take anything that comes our way because she will be family. She already is family. We have let this little stranger into our hearts long ago and feel that there is no going back. If she does come with many challenges, we will never have regrets and love her all the same.
Changing our adoption plan is also not an option at this point. Before we picked ET, we investigated other countries (including our own), and found that there were equal amount of risks across the board, just came about in different ways.
So, this is getting it out to the universe and especially to those who make sure we are always up-to-date on all of adoption horror stories - we hear you. We hear about them. It is scary as hell, but regardless, these stories are not changing our mind and we are going forward. Spending a lot of time dredging up the bad rather than talking about the good is not helpful.
Here is another way to look at it. I am sure most would be very happy and supportive if we were trying to conceive. If that were still possible, I am positive we would still be trying throughout this year, even though conceiving a child at my age comparatively comes with just as many risks (genetic, birth defects, preemie, etc).
Friday, September 10, 2010
Miss M
I'll never forget this day.
Last winter, my co-teacher (Mr. G) and I were taking attendance in our 10th grade co-taught World Civilization class. As my mind should have been on lesson plans and IEP meetings, it was not. My thoughts back then were all about that crazy transitional time of switching from Taiwan to Ethiopia. I had just sent our agency application off a few days before, so all I could think about was, "Oh my God, was that the right choice? And Ethiopia of all places? What? Why? How?"
Shortly after attendance, the door opened and in walked one of the most beautiful girls that I had ever seen. She was followed by a counselor and an adult man. Mr. G and I were pulled aside and informed that this was Miss M, she was just adopted and brought here from Ethiopia the week prior, and because she was so terrified, her adopted dad was going to sit in by her for this first class.
(Insert: Yes... you fate believers, even though my ever evolving spirituality is typically sitting on the fence, if there ever was an example of a "God send intervention", I agree that this would have to be it. I mean, I just sent off my application that very week that this girl stepped into my life? What the....?)
The poor thing did look so terrified, I seriously wanted to cry for her. In a class of about 42 kids, I am sure all she saw was a sea of white, intimidating, English speaking, upper class teens (though there were about 5 other ethnicities - including 2 African American and one student that had recently immigrated from Africa).
After class I swiftly pulled her (and her dad) aside, introduced myself, and offered to be with her the rest of the day. From then on, Miss M. and I have built a wonderfully unique teacher/student relationship as we are both equal teacher and learner. Because the classes that I co-teach in are generally modified for struggling learners, she has been scheduled into many of them so that I can help with language development. For me, her cultural lessons have been simply invaluable. For her, I believe that she just needed that person (outside of her awesome adoptive family) to listen to her stories of ET, her experience of adoption at age 15, and the process of assimilating into a new culture.
Husband was even pulled into this unique relationship simply by being the person I would come home to share with.
"Guess was Miss M shared with me today? She pulled up her pant leg and started pointing out her scars. Each scar represented a story of hardship and neglect that accompanied her life as a child of the streets in Addis Ababa."
"Did you know that Miss M was selling toilet paper on the streets from age 4 until she was picked up at age 9 (literally - by a van) for an educational sponsorship program? Apparently, she was a lucky one!"
She is remarkable in many, many ways. She is insightful, compassionate, resilient, very bright, and determined. She has found a new friend. She's another beautiful girl that recently immigrated here from Somalia. Not only does this girl face the challenge of being a refugee, but she is also deaf (she is part of the integrated school for the deaf). Just to make a hard situation harder, she started the school last year pregnant (and now raising her baby). I've been watching them develop this relationship through what seems a mutual, unspoken understanding between the two of them; sort of like an, "I just get it - I get you and you get me." We made sure to get Miss M into a signing class. She is now not only learning English but also ASL so that she can communicate with her new friend. Just another reason that this girl impresses the pants off of me!
Her story would take me all day to write about (and I have encouraged HER to write her story). Even though she most likely views me as a nice teacher/advocate that has been kind enough to listen, I am sure she does not realize how much I look forward to her waiting by my door in the mornings. She waits so that she can keep me updated on the current events of her life - all of which are a lesson for myself.
Today when she stopped by my room, I mustered up the courage to ask her a question that I had not felt comfortable asking until this day. I told her that my heart was feeling heavy lately with wondering if our daughter will one day show resentment to us for taking her from her birth country - or people that look like her - and raising her in a community that is primarily white. I wanted her opinion on this.
Miss M gave me a very mature, to-the-point response. She told me that it is natural and good to think about this, but to not think too much about it because even though this might cross our daughter's mind eventually, she (Miss M) knows that we will be great parents and that our daughter will really never truly understand what her life would have been like. Miss M felt like she was a kid that, like all the other kids she knew in ET, was loved by her immidaite family, but not cared for by anyone else - such as the government. The hardships she faced as a young girl (hunger, neglect, child labor, abuse, discrimination as a female, minimal educational opportunities) was not right and that if she would have stayed there, her future would have been bleak at best. She feels that she had it better than most because the rural girls (the ones carrying water for hours each day) have it much worse. Even though she is very homesick, she said that she would never question or feel remorse and anger for her adoption - only gratitude to her adoptive family for giving her such an opportunity.
I walked away from that conversation feeling better and humbled. Do I feel better about the fact that we are adopting a girl? Yes, I do. Do I now feel like I am "saving" a child from those conditions? No, not really. I still feel that selfish twinge in that she is saving us more. But I do feel a desire, more than ever, to give back to that country for what she is going to give us; sponsorship, humanitarian trips, etc. Is my ego big enough to think that my altruistic motivation of Husband and I together changing a country in ways that adoption will no longer be needed? Certainly not! But at least I hope that we can make a teeny tiny, itty bitty difference for a few people.
I am closing this post with a huge "Thank You!" to Miss M and the hope that our friendship - and even new relationship with our daughter (Miss M being a role model perhaps?) - can carry over for years to follow.
Last winter, my co-teacher (Mr. G) and I were taking attendance in our 10th grade co-taught World Civilization class. As my mind should have been on lesson plans and IEP meetings, it was not. My thoughts back then were all about that crazy transitional time of switching from Taiwan to Ethiopia. I had just sent our agency application off a few days before, so all I could think about was, "Oh my God, was that the right choice? And Ethiopia of all places? What? Why? How?"
Shortly after attendance, the door opened and in walked one of the most beautiful girls that I had ever seen. She was followed by a counselor and an adult man. Mr. G and I were pulled aside and informed that this was Miss M, she was just adopted and brought here from Ethiopia the week prior, and because she was so terrified, her adopted dad was going to sit in by her for this first class.
(Insert: Yes... you fate believers, even though my ever evolving spirituality is typically sitting on the fence, if there ever was an example of a "God send intervention", I agree that this would have to be it. I mean, I just sent off my application that very week that this girl stepped into my life? What the....?)
The poor thing did look so terrified, I seriously wanted to cry for her. In a class of about 42 kids, I am sure all she saw was a sea of white, intimidating, English speaking, upper class teens (though there were about 5 other ethnicities - including 2 African American and one student that had recently immigrated from Africa).
After class I swiftly pulled her (and her dad) aside, introduced myself, and offered to be with her the rest of the day. From then on, Miss M. and I have built a wonderfully unique teacher/student relationship as we are both equal teacher and learner. Because the classes that I co-teach in are generally modified for struggling learners, she has been scheduled into many of them so that I can help with language development. For me, her cultural lessons have been simply invaluable. For her, I believe that she just needed that person (outside of her awesome adoptive family) to listen to her stories of ET, her experience of adoption at age 15, and the process of assimilating into a new culture.
Husband was even pulled into this unique relationship simply by being the person I would come home to share with.
"Guess was Miss M shared with me today? She pulled up her pant leg and started pointing out her scars. Each scar represented a story of hardship and neglect that accompanied her life as a child of the streets in Addis Ababa."
"Did you know that Miss M was selling toilet paper on the streets from age 4 until she was picked up at age 9 (literally - by a van) for an educational sponsorship program? Apparently, she was a lucky one!"
She is remarkable in many, many ways. She is insightful, compassionate, resilient, very bright, and determined. She has found a new friend. She's another beautiful girl that recently immigrated here from Somalia. Not only does this girl face the challenge of being a refugee, but she is also deaf (she is part of the integrated school for the deaf). Just to make a hard situation harder, she started the school last year pregnant (and now raising her baby). I've been watching them develop this relationship through what seems a mutual, unspoken understanding between the two of them; sort of like an, "I just get it - I get you and you get me." We made sure to get Miss M into a signing class. She is now not only learning English but also ASL so that she can communicate with her new friend. Just another reason that this girl impresses the pants off of me!
Her story would take me all day to write about (and I have encouraged HER to write her story). Even though she most likely views me as a nice teacher/advocate that has been kind enough to listen, I am sure she does not realize how much I look forward to her waiting by my door in the mornings. She waits so that she can keep me updated on the current events of her life - all of which are a lesson for myself.
Today when she stopped by my room, I mustered up the courage to ask her a question that I had not felt comfortable asking until this day. I told her that my heart was feeling heavy lately with wondering if our daughter will one day show resentment to us for taking her from her birth country - or people that look like her - and raising her in a community that is primarily white. I wanted her opinion on this.
Miss M gave me a very mature, to-the-point response. She told me that it is natural and good to think about this, but to not think too much about it because even though this might cross our daughter's mind eventually, she (Miss M) knows that we will be great parents and that our daughter will really never truly understand what her life would have been like. Miss M felt like she was a kid that, like all the other kids she knew in ET, was loved by her immidaite family, but not cared for by anyone else - such as the government. The hardships she faced as a young girl (hunger, neglect, child labor, abuse, discrimination as a female, minimal educational opportunities) was not right and that if she would have stayed there, her future would have been bleak at best. She feels that she had it better than most because the rural girls (the ones carrying water for hours each day) have it much worse. Even though she is very homesick, she said that she would never question or feel remorse and anger for her adoption - only gratitude to her adoptive family for giving her such an opportunity.
I walked away from that conversation feeling better and humbled. Do I feel better about the fact that we are adopting a girl? Yes, I do. Do I now feel like I am "saving" a child from those conditions? No, not really. I still feel that selfish twinge in that she is saving us more. But I do feel a desire, more than ever, to give back to that country for what she is going to give us; sponsorship, humanitarian trips, etc. Is my ego big enough to think that my altruistic motivation of Husband and I together changing a country in ways that adoption will no longer be needed? Certainly not! But at least I hope that we can make a teeny tiny, itty bitty difference for a few people.
I am closing this post with a huge "Thank You!" to Miss M and the hope that our friendship - and even new relationship with our daughter (Miss M being a role model perhaps?) - can carry over for years to follow.
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