Happy New Year to you all! May this year bring good health and happiness to all of our friends and family. The year 2013 has obviously been the best year for us as a family yet! I could not help but think back to the several years that Xmas was so bitter sweet. We just could not believe that we still did not have our daughter home with us and we knew that the new year meant serious contemplation if we could continue on to another year of waiting for our adoption. We now have to wait no longer! We have her home! We are complete! Bring it on .... each new year! We will now be walking forward, together as a family of 4, with renewed optimism and joy.
Our first holiday season with Y came and went without a hitch. Our little Y embraced all of the traditions and festivities with a zesty gusto! For many adopted children or children that come from a hard place, the holidays can be a time of increased anxiety, but not for Y. She absorbed all of the crazy in stride! A big guy with a red furry coat that flies in the air on a reindeer at night? Ummm... cool! Putting a big tree in your house and hanging toys on it? Ok.....that is silly but fun! Watching dad crawl on his belly on the roof to hang little lights? Really - not sure you guys can get any stranger, but I will go with it because they sure are pretty!
Even though we were reluctant to even start up the concept of Santa, her brother went for it and eventually succeeded in explaining to her that this guy Santa can bring you anything you want. Guess what she decided she could not live without? Sugar and a dolphin car (I have no idea...). We went to a party where Santa made a surprise visit. Upon his grand entrance through the front door, Y plowed through that swarm of kids and practically swan dived into his arms declaring, "Santa! Sugar! Dolphin Car! Santa! Sugar! Dolphin car!"
Alas, Santa did come through with the sugar request, and to her delight, she was allowed to have a massive candy cane inserted in her mouth for two straight days. You are welcome to stop by my house to see the evidence of this by the sticky red fingerprints on the walls, bedding, light switches, cat, stuffed animals, and appliances. As for the dolphin car? Not so lucky, but luckily, she was transformed when she saw her stash of sugar in the stocking and I doubt that that odd car ever entered her mind again.
Besides sugar, this was an opportunity to give her some nice toys. She had not had many up until this point as we were still figuring out what her preferences were. She is still a little oblivious to them. She does not seem to (yet) have that creative approach to toys and they just sort of perplex her. We have tried to provide her with things that closely resemble what brother has (toddler remote car, a little race track, etc) as her main priority now in life now, it seems, it to be treated as an equal. If brother has a car in his hand, then she must have a car in hand. This is typical attachment and 3 year old behavior, but unless brother plays them with her - such as their matching cars - then she loses interest quickly. We have toys that resemble real life (like play food), but unless someone is interacting with her in this play, then they also provide limited interest - or they frustrate her because you can't really eat the wooden orange slice. Regardless, she has some nice things now and I suspect that her creative side and independent play will come to her with time and these toys will be very much enjoyed!
New Years was an experience! We participated in the annual Gaddis New Year's Extravaganza where our one and only hipster Daddy (tee-hee) was a DJ for a wild-n-crazy kid dance floor. It was a little loud and overwhelming for Y, but she was content just sitting back on the sidelines observing the 40+ kids/adults going bonkers. She does this a lot - observe. It is pretty awesome, really. She waits, watches, learns, then jumps right in! When the clock stuck 10:00pm (New Year Eastern time), she completely dug the idea of finding her family members and giving us all multiple hugs and kisses.
I think Y's very most favorite part of the holidays was staying home with "her family" for two whole weeks! She loves saying this 50+ times a day; MY family. MY Mommy, Daddy, Brother. She sings that Barney song, "I love you, you love me...." as she walks around the house.
We love that she is loving us and we are loving her. Love. Love. Love.
We are soaking in the lovefest for now because back in late November I started back to work full time and it was a massive transition for us all. Actually, it was more like throwing us all into a blender and then instantaneously needing us to sort out our normalcy when the blender stopped. Luckily, she likes her daycare worker ("Auntie") and friends there, but does not like that she is no longer Mommy's daily side-kick. I now work at the district office with longer hours, so this means that we get the kids home at dinner time (10 hour days factoring in commute time). Hubs is coaching 2+ evenings a week. I have yet to even begin how to figure out how to manage getting two tired and hungry kids in the door, make a healthy meal, clean up afterward, do homework, and most importantly - squeeze in much needed 1:1 connection time with our little Y. This has been extremely tough on her resulting in regressive behaviors directed toward me (emotional lashing out by withholding affection, eye contact, kind words, etc) and this is tough for us all. The first few days of our break, Y needed me to hold her all of the time. I seriously thought my arms were going to fall off, but it was needed, so I did it.
Much of this holiday has been about just nesting in our house with a lot of down time. We now have our happy girl back and that is really hopeful that we will conquer in the end, but for now, our two weeks is nearing an end and we are all a little panic stricken. We have been talking to Y about starting back to Auntie's and have some interventions in place to hopefully help ease us back in to this transition. Oh, and my sis made us a freezer full of crock-pot meals to take that burden off (best present EVER!). Wish us luck!
And to end this on a happy note - how can I part without mentioning the newest member of our family? Introducing Ishi!
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