ho-hum....

And the wait goes on. In 3 weeks, it will be our TWO YEAR wait anniversary. Ugh.

I am sure that many of you peeking at my blog were hoping, after my last post, that there would be great "referral!" news, and I am sorry there is not. Bless you, however, for sticking this out with us.

The good news is that there are referrals again - older children and sibling sets so far!  This has broken a 10 month drought. Whew!

The bad news is that, as always, we hear these same words from our caseworker, "Well, this paper chase certainly is longer than we expected...". We have also moved backward on the list; something about people coming off of a "hold", increasing their age request, etc. We are now #8. Lordy.

I admit - I wish that WACAP did not send out that email a few weeks ago (indicating big news is coming very soon) because that sent myself and several other families on an emotional tizzy. I am much more calm now that that storm has died down, but I find myself getting increasingly frustrated at the wait. I question everything, which mostly leads to finger pointing at our agency not doing a their job well. But then I read snippets such as this Wall Street Journal article:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304811304577368243366708110.html

and this dishes me out a nice big dose of reality check. Maybe it is a good thing that it is a longer wait because we did pick this agency for their ethics, after all, and it seems that by doing the job we expect them to do equals longer waits.  Over and over I hear that they are slower because they want to hand pick good orphanages and triple check the process to ensure that they are really adopting out orphans. I confess that I have kicked myself several times lately for not going with other agencies that are delivering on their promises of infant referrals under a year - but then I get realistic. I consider myself now a fairly savvy adopter and believe that agencies with quick turn-arounds are dabbling in some of the sketchy practices highlighted in this article. Wouldn't I rather wait 2 years to get a legit orphan than 1 year participating in an adoption that might have been formed under false pretenses? Absolutely. (I italicised "might" because I do believe that the majority of adoptions have happened for the right reasons. It is those few bad seeded agencies that have spoiled the bunch)

But.... how long are we going to hang on to this dream of ours? Not sure. It really is a day-to-day decision process at this point.

And please don't worry, folks. I know that I concerned some in my last post that I was about to be committed, but I am not. This roller coaster is our new norm and I am finding ways to maneuver my emotions to adapt. It has been a beautiful spring here in Utah and my mind is consumed with purchasing and planting trees on our property and building/planting the Kid's garden. Being outside in the sun does the mind good!