Why is NOW the time to freak out? Because of many reasons. Of course, there is the same old news coming around...
changes in ET government, more expected delays, dropping an orphanage, longer wait times between referral and embassy (the process used to be about 3 months between the referral call and bringing your child home, and now it seems to be about 6-10 months), because this time last year the expected wait times for referral were 6-12 months and now it is 18-24 (with the asterisk that "wait times for infant girls may be even longer") and we are only in month 15
...all the things that bury our hopes of bringing our daughter home even deeper - but this is also getting stirred up now because I (we) feel us shifting as a family. Those shifting reasons I will keep to ourselves for the time being, but I will say that it is time to take a hard look at things.
This should be a very interesting few months ahead of us, indeed.
A WACAP friend of mine, Zoe, has a great blog and summed up a lot of how it feels on her post "22". Check it out if you get the chance! http://slowmama.com/
HOWEVER there is a ray of sunshine in these stormy days. The Kid started Kindergarten this week! He is such a big, smart, funny, witty, loving boy. And what did his mom let him do to celebrate his first week in Kinder? She let him watch the big boy Harry Potter movie tonight. And now where is my big boy as I type this? He is sound asleep next to me with about every inch of his skin velcroed to my side with his fist in a death grip on my shirt. He fell asleep whimpering that his minuscule scab on his cheek was burning so does that mean that the bad wizard man is near? Oh, so sorry my little bug. Your Mommy lives and learns. I'll make it up to him tomorrow, but in the meantime, here's some cheers to a happy 13 years of school ahead! :)
7 comments:
Big hugs. And fist bumps.
It's so hard. I know. I don't even know what to compare this process to- because it's so unique and intense.
Hang in there.
p.s. I'm back. I kept thinking about your post. You know one thing that's really helped me? I've totally quit reading the rumors/forums at this point. I just can't get on the crazy train of it all. I've been "forum and rumor free" for nearly 3 weeks and I can tell a big improvement already. Granted, I hadn't heard about the 6-10 month until travel thing (GASP!) but does it really do any good to be so informed? Maybe try it and see if it works for you....?
I totally agree with Lost Planetista about "unplugging" from the forum. I think people post stuff that they don't necessarily know is 100% true--like Ajuuja closing. I still haven't seen that confirmed anywhere or from anyone at WACAP. And the 6-10 months before traveling was a shock to me too--we traveled 2 months after accepting Wogene's file and are still waiting to go back for embassy but at least we know he's ours and everything is legal, per se. Anyway, just wanted to at least try to give you a glimmer of hope on those two fronts but I totally agree that you can get some misleading info on the boards! Hope my SIL's info was a help to you as well :)
I didn't mean "Ajuuja closing" (here I go starting a rumor I didn't even mean to start!) I meant "WACAP working with Ajuuja!" I haven't seen that confirmed anywhere or by anyone. SORRY about that :)
Pebble to Stone said...
Hi Jen - I'm going to jump on the boat here and also suggest you stay off the message boards / groups / forums, etc. When Nepal shut down I promised myself (and my husband, who saw me going crazy) that I would stay off those things. I have been (mostly) successful with a few slips (like this week). And it has helped tremendously. Each time I do slip - it throws me into a spiral. SO I strongly agree - to stay sane, stay off. Even only 3-4 peeks this year has made me nuts. Advice I give to people considering adoption:
1.) Start a few years before you're ready. (um, yeah)
2.) It could be one of the hardest things you've ever done - international adoption is not what it used to be
3.) DO NOT COMPARE YOUR TIMELINE TO OTHERS'!
Seriously - comparing timelines is the most emotionally damaging thing one can inflict upon themselves in my estimation. (It causes hurt on both sides - trust me on this one!)
So we traveled 4 months after our referral. Still waiting on Embassy - and that's a whole 'nother kind of hell, but with each step you think you'll get relief - and it just gets harder. I guess that's a good prep for parenting - I don't know yet.
Anyway - I'm rambling - but seriously - give yourself a month and just quit reading. I've met some of the most amazing people and friends through my blog - but you just have to be careful what you choose to seek out, and let in. Please call when you can. xx
Glad to meet you. If I can ever be helpful just let me know : )
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